It makes things sound as though they are that bad. In fact, they are not that bad. They're just different.
I feel differently, more...I feel more than I'm accustomed to allowing myself to feel. That's a somewhat better way of stating things.
I'm me, or at the very least, I'm feeling (yes, feeling) who I am. I used to being different things for everybody else. I'm NOT used to being me for myself, or even knowing exactly WHO I am.
It's weird.
It's a odd feeling.
It's an even more difficult thing to write about, especially since I can't place my finger, er thought, on what kind of whatever IT is.
Isn't that strange in and of itself?
We're used to feeling things internally...and so intensely that it's mind and body numbing. We try so hard to express these things, but they come out in the form of depression or mania or eating disorders or drugs or whatever. Now we, or personally speaking, I have the forum to actually voice them and feel them and have that be okay. And in alot of ways, I'm just as confused and numb.
*shrug*
Maybe it'll come to me later.
Or maybe not. It's okay.
My dysfunction wasn't born in a day, and I'm pretty sure it'll take even longer to find some functionality in an eternally dysfunctional world.
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