Sorry for being MIA...this week was THE week...the one I dread each and every year. Though honestly it's not vastly different from the rest of the year...my dad is on my mind every single damn day. The 17th was the 6 year anniversary of his suicide, and nothing is any better--or any worse--than the day itself.
I always pull back when I really need to be leaning on the people around me. I think that makes me the very example of anti-drama queen, but others, I guess, still see it differently. Whatever. I'm tired of giving a fuck about people (cough, a person, cough) that just "don't know what to do." Which is fucking hysterical, because I clearly still give a shit. If not for knowing how she is about confrontation and that she'd rather just avoid me altogether than tell me to go to hell, then I'd never know anything was wrong. The last time we spoke, she'd said she'd call back, and the fact that she hasn't tells me where she stands with our friendship. This sucks. There's never been another person that I trusted so implicitly. And do you have any idea how much this fucks with my head...the one person who'd always accepted me no matter what, doesn't after all.
This whole thing with her is bothering me to the point that even I am irritated and frustrated with myself for giving a shit.
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