Personal

I know this probably shouldn't be as big a deal as I'm feeling that it is right now. So fucking sue me...It DOES matter right now.

My husband's best friend's wife's family had their dog killed by a corrections officer. It was on the news and such, and having just seen the news report, called to see how they were doing. Fucking shit happened TUESDAY. And my husband was over there last night. He didn't even bother to say anything at all to me, and he knew on Tuesday. I'm telling you, I was already feeling pretty fucking ignored and disregarded...yep, still feeling that way.

It's bad enough that I have both my husband and oldest daughter telling me what I should and shouldn't get upset about and what I should and shouldn't be getting mad about. Let me explain something just real quick.

Stop telling me that I'm overreacting. Stop telling me that it's not worth me getting upset about. Way to invalidate my feelings AND make me feel even crazier than you all already make me feel. I tell them to pick their battles, which they don't, but it never fails that it gets thrown in my face. I don't ever get to pick my battles. Every motherfucking thing that I get upset about...I get told that it's not worth it, stop overreacting, etc. So tell me, ya'll. What the fuck am I allowed to get upset about. Am I even allowed to do or say anything, since clearly I'm so fucked in the head, right?

So I keep my mouth shut and then someone has the nerve to ask me what's wrong. Don't fucking ask if you don't want to know. And if I tell you what's wrong, you don't have a right to get pissed at me and say, "I don't want to talk about it." What in the fuck does it take, man?

I am so goddamned tired. I HATE the entire month of October!!!!!!