Poetry

With puffy eyes & swollen nodes
I look upon this world that I despise
And as I stare blankly into my porcelain throne
These scattered thoughts I dare to compose.

I hear the solitary cries
Of those like me in strife
So many of us with so many reasons
But all the same distorted eyes
We wake each day heavy with dread
Afraid of what the scale will show
Confirming that which we already know
The numbers dancing dizzying circles in our heads
Driving us to chaotic madness
When control is what we crave
When our souls discover drowning sadness
Altering our vanity, seemingly the only path to take.
Measuring and counting.
The pressure inside us mounting.
What is now deemed safe eventually isn't
And soon we feel powerful in our empty dizziness
At times we are driven to fill a void inside
When we are malnourished and clinging to life
Physical needs provoke us to digress
We devour helplessly, all the while we contest
Till all that's left are tear soaked crumbs and empty boxes

Feeling far too much and all of it toxic
For this moment of weakness, we are filled with disgust
And seeking absolution, there is but one solution
Flushing it all away, the only possible conclusion
Reaffirming control of a disappearing existence
Renewed purpose to find my lost innocence

We live for our passion.
Sometimes that passion is pain.
For we deem ourselves unworthy of the joys life may contain
Where we are going, most of us don't know.
But for the moment, this is simply how we cope.