My husband continues to buy me cupcakes even though they're gone within a few days yet...I've consistently been freaking out over the "accidental" inclusion of regular butter instead of my I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
Ahhhhhhhhh. So good and so sweet. Oh well. I'll guess I'll aim for a purge free day tomorrow. Today is already fucked.
Do you truly want to be free from this?
ReplyDeleteDo you TRULY want to be FREE from this?
I don't say this to make you angry - just honestly asking. I don't want a response from you - it is a question that you have to ask yourself in your heart of hearts. Do you truly want to be free?
I believe that you do and I believe that you can. If so, don't take it one day at a time - take it one minute, one second at a time. The journey to recovery is going to be full of "mess ups". Forgive yourself when you mess up but don't use it as an excuse to call the day a wash. (Does that make sense?) Instead - learn from it. Take the pain or thought that led you to purge, and let it force you to action - to find a new way to deal with that pain or thought. You have been doing this so long that your brain knows no other way of dealing with whatever it is that makes you feel the urge to purge. It is going to take time for your brain to turn from the tried and true method of comfort. It is going to take one second, one minute, and one day at a time building new habits and new thought processes.
Above all else - this is not a journey that you can take by yourself. You need the love and support of others. Know that no matter what has happened in your life - you have SO many people that love you and want to see you healthy, happy, and whole. Break down the wall and allow yourself to feel the love of those around you.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!